20251218_TheBrokenHeartsMarathon_pen

To be honest, I've spent my whole life in the search for love.

Now, I don't mean love only in the way of romance, family or friendship, or something specific to a personal relationship.
I'm not denying that I haven't sought love in those forms, just stating that there's more to talk about when we talk about love.

My search started with one thing; why do I live my life the way I do?
After 25 years, I may not have found that truth, but I know for certain that love is the key to finding it.

We've made so many advancements in the study of science, of spirituality, of arts, of philosophy, of industry, of society.
But the pursuit of something as indefinable, undeniable, irresistible as love, is enough to consume anyone. In fact, it has been consuming everyone.
Yes, EVERYONE.

We often fail to realize that love is the common denominator of all our lives, the one thing that unites every single person in this world.
Despite knowing that it's people who cause the turmoils that this world faces; war, disease, disasters, we have to understand that everyone acts for their own reasons. And all of it is done in the pursuit of love, no matter how differently they perceive it.

I used to think it was money, but it just can't be.
Think about what we do with our money. We earn, save, spend it for various things, but ultimately one reason, right? To live a good life.
The expectations/conditions vary since each of us are born different, grow up through different stages, but the goal is to survive in the present and hopefully thrive in our future. Money enables that, so we prioritize that.

But it's just a means to an end. The ends of the world that we know, but only beyond it do we find the answer, to find something worth living.

What is that drives us to do unspeakable things? Or the mundane?
Why do we choose to stay alive despite knowing that there is no objective meaning to our living? How is that we keep clinging onto our life purpose despite all the suffering that each of us go through?

I don't know. And I don't know if I'll ever know.
And we'll never know what love truly is, because it lies completely in the unknown.

That brings me to the Broken Hearts Marathon.

Every single person has suffered loss in different forms.
Every one of us knows what heartbreak feels like at different levels.
And we run from it because we don't want to remain in heartbreak.
But the fact we are running means we don't let our hearts to fully heal.

We run because we want to escape the hurt. But we forget that we can only replace one suffering with another.
We're all running in a marathon, not realizing that our hearts are broken, in one way or the other.
But the reason we're running is so moving, it's why we don't stop moving.

Throughout life, we will continue to feel the joy of gaining and the pain of losing. Put together, it can be termed as the flow of love.

You can feel the flow of love acutely in moments like these;

a) you lose a partner due to circumstances, and you take time off to grieve and heal yourself (loved one to self-love)
b) you get out of touch with a close friend due to the long distance and make a close friend at an unexpected place (old friend to new one)
c) you fallout with some of your friends and reconnect with your sibling (familiar to family)
d) you lose your connection with the college/school gang as you get close with your work friends (teen to adult)
e) you miss a dearly departed so you start appreciating the existence of others dear to you (one to all)
f) you lose your grandparent to old age yet you feel their presence with you (grandparent to grandchild)
g) you lose your parent to sudden death and you finally understand their burden (parent to child)

These are not ordinary runs; each of these constitute a marathon where we bear the flow of love in our lives as we move from one phase to another.

And the point when we feel love the most would be when the heart breaks. Why? Because only at the breaking point would we know the true weight of love.

We live in an imperfect world. We don't really plan our connections, they just happen. They just seep into our lives. Isn't that how we experience love?
If this is the case, love can only flow from one broken heart to another.
If our hearts were completely whole, where would all the love go?

If you're with me on this, then remind yourself that it's normal to exist with a broken heart. In fact, I encourage it.
To be aware of it gives us the strength to bear the weight, even when we can't.

So whenever it becomes too much to handle, remember that you're not sprinting and you're not alone. You're in a broken hearts marathon, running together with rest of us.

[P.S. The song that'll play for this piece is my #2 on my tops songs for 2025]